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Do you smile every time you hear a specific song or light up when you see a certain old friend? Those are the two things I like to call sparks of happiness.
We need them now more than ever to thrive despite the challenges, distractions, and overwhelming current events. Unfortunately, as I wrote in my recent book, “The mentally strong leader” There are some days when these moments are hard to come by.
The key is to bring more sparks of happiness into your life, not by chance, but by choice.
It takes mental strength and discipline to adopt perspectives and make decisions that can help you feel happy, especially when negative emotions and thoughts are hijacking you.
The most mentally strong people rely on these five mantras, which can provide small bursts of resilience and create sparks of happiness.
1. ‘It’s not what I lost, it’s what I still have’
In times of adversity, it is easy to focus on what has already happened. Maybe you lost time, money, or resources when something went wrong on that work project. Or you lost your identity when you were fired. Or you lost a hangout buddy when your friend moved across the country.
Remembering to focus on what you still have makes a profound difference. Consciously practicing gratitude improves well-being, investigation sample.
In the situations above, for example, you may be grateful for valuable information, for loved ones with whom you can spend more quality time, and for a new travel destination, as well as for a friendship that you can continue to cultivate over the long distance.
2. ‘There is no perfect path’
When you doubt a path you’ve chosen or lament that everything isn’t working out as you expected, you can get stuck in a negative loop.
The truth is that there will always be unexpected turns. It’s easier to find joy when you accept the imperfect path and overcome obstacles along the way.
Think of an achievement or result that made you happy. Chances are you faced some adversity to get there.
3. ‘Let it be’
When you’re frustrated and someone tells you to “let it go,” it can make you even angrier. It’s also bad advice, since you probably won’t be able to ignore what happened and how it made you feel.
On the other hand, you can tell yourself, “Let it be.” That means using a form of cognitive knowledge. acceptancewhich is a safer path out of a downward spiral.
Don’t try to banish an adverse event from your psyche or change how you feel about it. Let it rest there. Recognize and accept that your emotions are legitimate reactions and focus on how to move forward productively.
4. ‘Big picture, small step’
When we struggle in the face of setbacks, we can lose perspective. Small challenges can suddenly seem huge.
Telling yourself “Big picture, small step” does two things:
- It reminds you of the end goal or vision of the life you want to live and who you want to be. When a setback is considered in the context of the bigger picture, it is reduced.
- It can help you identify one small thing you can do to get back on the path of progress and positivity. That first action can lead to another small step of hope, which in turn leads to another, and so on.
5. ‘Adversity creates beliefs, not consequences’
Think of this as your ABC phrase, inspired by the abc model in cognitive behavioral therapy. The idea is to remind yourself that adversity does not automatically mean negative outcomes.
The ultimate outcome of adversity is determined by how we respond to it and the beliefs we form because of it.
For example, will you believe that a job interview that didn’t go well was an unrecoverable disaster that clearly demonstrates that you are a failure? Or will you believe it is a learning opportunity and an obstacle that you will overcome, as you have in other situations in the past?
Remember: ‘I will be happy when…’ is a trap
It’s easy to get caught up in thinking that Happiness is a destiny, that if you can only earn a little more money, or achieve something specific, so you will be happy.
You might say to yourself, “I’ll be happy when I finally get that promotion,” for example, or “If I could just wear those old jeans, I’d be so much happier.” In the meantime, you let the joy go unnoticed as you keep your head down, grinding.
Mentally strong people practice what I call “grindfulness,” a practice at the intersection of gratitude and mindfulness. It allows you to notice and acknowledge your gratitude for the small positives, even in difficult times.
It encourages you to gain happiness by finding and experiencing joy in the world around you, right now, every day.
Scott Mautz is a popular speaker, trainer and LinkedIn Learning Coach. He is a former top executive at Procter & Gamble, where he led several of the company’s largest multi-billion dollar businesses. He is the author of “The Mentally Strong Leader: Develop Habits to Productively Regulate Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors“Follow him on LinkedIn.
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