The Christmas classic that kids accepted because they had nothing else is a horrible movie

By Jonathan Klotz | Published 1 hour ago

Christmas movies are allowed to be saccharine, bright, colorful, and overly cheerful, making them enjoyable movies to watch every year with the family. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the snowman, Elf, He Santa Clausand A Christmas story They’re all classics, but still, for some reason, these days you’ll find The polar expressRobert Zemeckis’ motion capture box office disappointment, considered a modern classic. How anyone can look deep into the soulless eyes of Tom Hanks as the director and think, “That’s the spirit of Christmas,” I don’t understand because this movie goes straight into the uncanny valley, and the plot must have missed its ticket since it is nowhere. to be seen.

Straight to the uncanny valley

Launched in 2004, The polar express was filmed in motion capture, the same style Zemeckis would later use for Beowulf and A Christmas storyspecifically to capture the painterly quality of the famous children’s book. The book exudes warmth and wonder in its pages thanks to the talent of Chris Van Allsburg, but it is very short and lacks enough content for a feature film. I would say that the feature film lacks enough content for a feature film, as even when you talk to people who like this film, they only talk about the train sequence itself and leave out the back half of the film with kids running around on it. Elf. command center.

The polar express is about Hero Boy, a boy (motion capture provided by Tom Hanks) who is losing faith in Christmas when the train stops in front of his house, and keeps walking after The Conductor, played by Tom Hanks, urges him on the way. trip to the North Pole. Hanks, as The Director, is not playing a big enough role for this type of movie for any emotion to register in his performance. The Conductor, who comes across as a stern father, is not the villain of the film, but he is also not the kind of cheerful guide you would expect on a train full of children headed to the North Pole.

There is an action scene along the way, created to The polar express movie, when it veers off course and falls onto an ice-covered lake, it’s the only moment in the movie that feels like it has any real stakes or momentum. Outside of that moment nothing happens. Sure, it ends with a sweet bell-ringing moment (which goes against the novel’s original meaning), but that moment isn’t worth the trip to get there due to the ugly CGI, lack of plot, and, finally, the annoying children.

A classic by default

HE The polar express is intended for children, but in the 20 years since the film’s release, it seems that studios have finally realized that children in movies can be fully realized characters that go beyond the old style of representation.ng a single stereotype, such as know-it-all, loner, hero, and girl; Those are the main kids in the movie. If Zemeckis had guts, he would have made Billy the Lonely Boy get the first Christmas present instead of Hero Boy. Still, rather than subverting expectations, we’re left with irritating dialogue, strange facial expressions, and bad decisions that are obviously there to give the film something to show on screen.

And yet, because the film is intended for children, it is considered a classic now that those children have become adults and look back wistfully on the early years. This is the same generation that has decided that the Star Wars prequels are great, but I can’t judge them as harshly as I thought. three ninjas It was heyday cinema, and I loved it A plasticine Christmas special. In 2004, there were no big-budget, G-rated Christmas movies that were released in any major way, leaving The polar express as the favorite of a generation by default.

When we were kids we had horrible taste and once again I will admit my love for three ninjasthat’s why no one talks about The polar express outside of “I love that movie.” There’s no talk of scenes, big moments, iconic lines or classic characters, but people will speak fondly of the film. It’s because they were kids when they saw it, and they can still hear the bell today, and not because it’s a good movie or even a good movie, it’s a movie, and when you’re a kid, that’s good enough.

The polar express is transmitting Disney+and max.in case you need a reminder that this is the movie where nothing happens.